COOKING INSIDE A TENT: THE LAST ALPINE TABOO

IF YOU CAN PISS IN A BOTTLE YOU CAN COOK INSIDE A TENT.

IF YOU ARE GROWN UP ENOUGH TO TAKE ON THE OTHER ASPECTS OF EXPEDITION CLIMBING THEN YOU ARE GROWN UP ENOUGH TO COOK INSIDE A TENT. INDEED ON ‘GROWN UP’ ROUTES THAT DEMAND MULTIPLE NIGHTS UP HIGH IN CAMPS THAT ARE NOT ALWAYS FORSEEABLE, COOKING INSIDE THE TENT IS A GIVEN.

CLIMBERS WILL RUN ALL SORTS OF RISKS FROM ICY ROADS TO DODGY ANCHORS, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO COOKING INSIDE A TENT THE TABOO EXISTS FOR MANY THAT IT IS BEYOND THE PALE OF HAZARDS, AND WILL CHOOSE INSTEAD TO JUGGLE THE PROBLEMS AND DANGERS OF EXPOSURE UNDER THE AUSPICE OF SAFETY. SILLY ON SOME ROUTES OR UNACCEPTABLE ON OTHERS, THIS ADHERENCE TO A TABOO FLIES IN THE FACE OF DECADES OF EXPERIENCE WHERE THE PRACTICE IS MADE SAFE BY KNOWING BETTER, AND LIKE MOST FORMS OF TABOO-BREAKING, OPENS UP NEW POSSIBILITIES NOT ACCESSIBLE TO THE THOSE WHO CHOOSE NOT TO KNOW BETTER.

YES, THERE ARE WARNINGS EVERYWHERE AGAINST THIS, ON THE STOVE – ON THE GAS CANISTER, ON THE TENT – BUT NONE OF THIS IS RUNNING IN THE FACE OF THAT, ALL WARNINGS ARE HEEDED, JUST THAT THE REALITIES OF BEING ON SMALL LEDGES, IN HIGH WINDS, INSANE COLD, AND CRAMPED CONDITIONS OVER RIDE THEM. IN A MORE WELCOMING ENVIRONMENT IT IS BETTER TO COOK OUT IN THE VESTIBULE, BUT WHEN THINGS ARE STEEP AND EXPOSED IT IS NOT.

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FIRSTLY, MAKE THE JUDGEMENT CALL YOURSELF. KNOW THE RISKS, THE CONSEQUENCES, AND PRACTICE THE WAYS TO MITIGATE THEM WHICH INCLUDE GOING THROUGH ALL SYSTEMS AT GROUND LEVEL BEFORE TAKING UP HIGH. LIKE ANY OTHER ELEMENT OF ALPINE CLIMBING, HIGH ON A FIRST ASCENT IS NOT THE PLACE TO LEARN.

WE WRITE THIS AFTER COOKING INSIDE TENTS FOR THOUSANDS OF NIGHTS AND REFINING THE PROCESS OVER DECADES AS ALMOST EVERY ELEMENT HAS CHANGED. YES, THERE’S BEEN A FEW MISHAPS, BUT WE HAVE LEARNED, THE INFO HERE IS THE RESULT OF WHAT THE INDUSTRY WON’T TELL YOU.

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THE RISKS

ASPHYXIATION

POISONING FROM BUTANE AND PROPANE, CARBON MONOXIDE, MELTED FABRICS AND EVEN BURNING UP OXYGEN IN A BADLY VENTILATED TENT ARE ALL REAL HAZARDS. WE HAVE SEEN THE OUTCOME, WITH DEATHS IN TENTS FROM ONE OR A COMBINATION. SIMPLY VENTING A TENT IS NOT ENOUGH, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW YOUR STOVE BURNS, IT’S EFFICIENCY, AND HOW TO RIDE THE WAY GAS BURNS IN RELATION TO ALTITUDE, TEMPERATURE, AND PRESSURE, AND THEN HOW ALL THAT RELATES TO YOUR TENT. THIS MEANS PHYSICS, NOT JUST GEAR, AND THE WRONG UNDERSTANDING OF BOTH WILL SKEW THE RISKS FROM ACCEPTABLE TO SUICIDAL.

IMMOLATION

A FULL CONFLAGRATION OF GAS AND BURNING GEAR WOULD BE A NIGHTMARE AT SEA LEVEL. ON A CHOPPED LEDGE ON A MOUNTAIN IN THE NIGHT IT WOULD BE SOMETHING FROM A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. KILOS OF NYLON, DYNEEMA AND POLYESTER WILL GO UP LIKE THE PETROLEUM PRODUCTS THEY ARE, ALL HAVING LOW MELT AND FLASH POINTS, ALL DRIPPING TOXIC, STICKY, BOILING GOO. MOST TENTS ARE WITHIN REGULATIONS ABOUT DRIP TESTS, BUT FEW OTHER BITS OF GEAR ARE.

THE POTENTIAL FOR THE BUILD UP OF FLAMABLE GASES FROM BADLY MANAGED FUEL SOURCES IS SIGNIFICANT, MAKING THE CHANCE OF A FLARE UP VERY REAL BUT NOT IMMEDIATELY OBSERVED. DIFFERENT GASES ACT DIFFERENTLY, SITTING AT DIFFERENT LEVELS WITHIN THE TENT SPACE, AND SOMETHING AS SLIGHT AS THE TILTING OF A STOVE AS IT BURNS CAN SET OFF A CHAIN REACTION OF ESCAPED GAS AND UNPROTECTED FLAME.

DAMAGE AND LOSSES TO GEAR

YOU MAY SURVIVE THE FIRE, BUT YOUR GEAR MAY NOT, TRANSFERING THE RISK NOW FROM TOO MUCH HEAT TO HAVING TOO LITTLE AS YOUR INSULATION GOES UP IN SMOKE. ADD TO THIS THE DAMAGE TO ROPES, BOOTS, GLOVES, PACKS AND THE TENT ITSELF, AND EVEN A SMALL FLARE UP CAN BE BAD NEWS.

AND IT HAPPENS. REGULARLY GLOVES AND BOOT LINERS GET DAMAGED BY DRYING THEM, DOWN JACKETS MELTED BY TOUCHING A HANGING STOVE, HOLES IN TENT FLOORS FROM ACCIDENTALLY SITTING A HOT POT ON THEM, AND TENT WALL FABRICS SCORCHED FROM A STOVE GETTING TOO CLOSE. NOT ON THE SCALE OBVIOUSLY OF BURNS AND DESTROYED ROPES, BUT ENOUGH TO END A TRIP.

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THE FIXES

SO WHAT TO DO TO MAKE WHAT NOW SOUNDS LIKE AN EXERCISE IN TEMPTING CATASTROPHE SOMETHING SAFE AND ACCEPTABLE?

FIRST OFF, PHYSICS.

THE EFFECTS OF ALTITUDE AND COLD MESS WITH HOW FUEL VAPORIZES, MAKING IT HARDER TO GET THE NECESSARY DIFFERENTIAL FOR IT TO BURN EFFICIENTLY. INSIDE A CANISTER OR BOTTLE IT IS COLD, AND THE MORE DIFFERENCE THERE IS TO THE TEMPS AND PRESSURE OUTSIDE, THE BETTER THINGS BURN BY CHANGING MORE READILY TO A FULL GASEOUS FORM.

THIS IS DONE BY WARMING THE ENVIRONMENT THE STOVE IS IN, ie THE TENT, AND PREHEATING THE FUEL BEFORE IT COMES OUT TO BE IGNITED. THE FIRST ELEMENT NEED NOT BE A LOT, AND WITH THE RIGHT STOVE ONLY NEEDS A FEW MINUTES BLAST OF A STRUGGLING STOVE, SO LONG AS THE INCREASED WARMTH CAN BE FELT AT THE CANISTER. THE SECOND ELEMENT MEANS HAVING A STOVE WITH A VAPORIZING TUBE THAT RUNS THROUGH WHAT FLAME THERE IS TO TURN THE LIQUID FUEL TO VAPOR.

FUEL STOVES HAVE TRADITIONALLY DONE THIS BY PUMPING THEM TO GET THE PRESSURE NEEDED, BUT ALL BUT A FEW JAPANESE MODELS HAVE STILL MEANT DANGEROUS FLARES AS THE VAPORIZING TUBE HEATS UP. A FEW HAVE LEARNED TO MICRO-MANAGE THIS TO BE REASONABLY SAFE, BUT MOST HAVEN’T, AND THE RISKS OF LIQUID FUELS AND DAMAGED PUMPS STILL DON’T CHANGE.

CANISTER STOVES HAVE USUALLY BEEN HOPELESS AT THIS, THEIR BASIC DESIGN MAKING THEM HARD OR IMPOSSIBLE TO MANAGE FOR FUNCTIONAL EFFECT. FEW CANISTER STOVES HAVE VAPORIZING TUBES AND FEWER STILL COMBINE THEM WITH A WAY TO HEAT UP THE CANISTER, MEANING DUBIOUS HOMEMADE METHODS THAT ARGUABLY MADE THEM WORTHWHILE.

PHYSICS DEMANDS THAT THE FUEL COMES OUT MIXED AND CLEANLY, TO BE IGNITED COMPLETELY SO IT BOTH BURNS PROPERLY AND DOESN’T BECOME A TOXIC RISK. VENTING A TENT IS VITAL, BUT LOWERS THE EFFECTIVENESS OF A TENT TO TRAP WARMTH AND PRESSURE, SO NEEDS AN ACTIVE PROCESS OF VENTING AIR THROUGH FROM LOW TO HIGH TO KEEP THINGS WORKING. THIS MEANS SMALL VENTS UP HIGH AT THE HIGHEST POINT IN THE TENT, AND MORE VENTS DOWN LOW SO THE STREAM OF AIR IS DIRECT. THIS THROWS OUT ANY TENT WITHOUT VENTS AT THE HIGH POINT AND/OR WITHOUT A MEANS TO ALLOW AIR INFLOW FROM GROUND LEVEL, AND THE HIGHER THE ALTITUDE THE MORE THIS WILL MATTER FOR HITTING THE SWEET SPOT FOR CLEAN COMBUSTION.

HANGING STOVES ARE A SOLUTION, BUT ALTER THE VECTORS FOR HOW GAS BURNS AND THE RISKS PRESENT, CREATING A GREATER COOL SPACE FOR GAS TO SINK INTO BUT A SMALLER SPACE TO TRAP HEAT AND GASES THAT RISE. THIS MATTERS WITH WHERE THE FUEL SOURCE SITS WITHIN IT, AND A SOURCE SITTING WELL BELOW WILL HAVE A HARDER TIME MEETING THE DIFFERENTIAL THAN A BOTTLE OR CANISTER SITTING AT THE SAME LEVEL AS THE STOVE OR ABOVE.

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SECONDLY, MITIGATION.

KNOW HOW TO MAKE THINGS WORK RIGHT AND HAVE A PLAN FOR IF IT GOES WRONG, THE SECOND BEING SOMETHING ALMOST ALWAYS OVERLOOKED.

THERE WILL BE FLAMES, THERE WILL BE GASES, THERE WILL BE POTENTIALS TO SPILL STUFF AND THERE WILL BE THINGS LIKE VIOLENTLY BILLOWING TENTS, CRAMPED SPACE AND PILES OF FLAMMABLE GEAR – SO WORK OUT HOW TO DEAL WITH IT WITH THE KNOWLEDGE AND PRACTICES TO MAKE IT ACCEPTABLE.

IF THINGS GO BAD AND GASES BUILD UP, KNOW THE SIGNS SUCH AS DROWSINESS, FUMBLING, LOW RESPIRATION AND HEADACHES AND EMBED HOW TO REACT BY VENTILATING EFFECTIVELY. IF THE STOVES CONFLAGRATES, KNOW HOW TO PITCH IT OUTSIDE AND STAMP OUT ANY BURNING MATERIAL IN MINIMAL TIME. IF YOU SPILL A LITER OF HOT WATER, BE READY TO MOP IT UP WITH MINIMAL HYSTERIA AND HAVE THINGS LIKE SYNTHETICS OR MEMBRANES IN PLACE TO COPE WITH IT.

THIS IS ALL HELPED BY HAVING LIP LOOPS ON THINGS LIKE CUPS AND SPOONS, MESH FOOD BAGS YOU CAN SEE THROUGH, AND LINES RIGGED TO KEEP STUFF OFF THE GROUND AND NOT BE LOST IN THE MELEE OF GEAR, CLOTHES AND SLEEPING BAGS. REDUCE THE SECONDARY FACTORS LIKE HAVING TO BALANCE ITEMS AND JUGGLE HANDS JUST TO MELT SNOW, WHICH IS WHERE THE RISK OF TIPPING A STOVE GREATLY RISES, MEANWHILE THE ABILITY TO QUICKLY THROW THE THING OUT DROPS BECAUSE A STATE OF CHAOS IS ALREADY PRESENT.

MAKE SURE YOUR TENT DOOR IS READY TO UNZIP IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, AND ON ROUTES THAT ARE SERIOUS CARRY A SECOND, TINY STOVE AS BACK UP FOR MISFORTUNE.

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THIRDLY, GEAR.

YOU NEED THE RIGHT STOVE, POT AND PERIPHERAL THINGS TO MAKE COOKING INSIDE A TENT PROPERLY SAFE AND NOT JUST A MATTER OF HEDGING YOUR BETS AGAINST ACCIDENT.

THIS ALL BEGINS WITH THE RIGHT TENT, AS SOME TENTS ARE BETTER AT VENTING AND SITUATING A BURNING STOVE THAN OTHERS, WITH THINGS LIKE HANG LOOPS, LARGE VENTS, SIDE DOORS AND MESH POCKETS MAKING THE WHOLE SHOW MUCH EASIER. YOUR TENT IS YOUR HOME AND JUST AS A KITCHEN IS NO AFTERTHOUGHT, FOR ONE YOU WILL COOK IN YOU SHOULD CHOOSE IT WITH IT AS A MAJOR FACTOR.

STOVES ARE OBVIOUSLY CENTRAL TO THIS, AND NOTHING COMPARES TO A WINTER-GRADE, REMOTE CANISTER STOVE FOR SAFETY. JETBOILS TOO ARE VERY SAFE DUE TO THE LOCKING WIND SHIELD, BUT LACK THE ABILITY OF THE REMOTE CANISTER. LIKEWISE WINDBURNERS HAVE THE SAME ISSUE BUT ARE A BIT DUBIOUS ON CO EMMISSION, AND REACTORS ARE POTENTIAL DEATHTRAPS BECAUSE THEY DON’T LOCK TOGETHER NOR BURN CLEANLY.

NO FUEL STOVE IS A GOOD CHOICE, AND DESPITE MARK TWIGHT BEING ABLE TO USE ONE WITH VIRTUOSITY, THE RISKS OF BROKEN PUMPS AND SPILLED FUEL OUTWEIGH THE ADVANTAGES IN A WORLD THAT HAS MOVED ON.

ANY REMOTE STOVE WILL NEED A WINDSHIELD TO PRETECT AGAINST ACCIDENTAL BUMPS, BUT ONE THAT IS REMOVABLE SO THAT AMBIENT HEAT CAN STILL BLEED INTO THE TENT AS NEEDED. NO REMOTE STOVE WE KNOW OF CLIPS TOGETHER, SO THIS NEEDS TO BE WORKED AROUND, AND IS A NUDGE FOR FUTURE DESIGNS.

ANY SET UP SHOULD INCLUDE A HANGING SET, TO GET THE THING ABOVE GROUND LEVEL WHEN THE TENT FLOOR IS FILLED, AND THIS WILL THEN MEAN A RIGGING SYSTEM TO HANG THE THING WHERE YOU WANT IT, WHICH WILL CHANGE WITH SCENARIOS. ALWAYS MAKE SURE THIS SET UP IS DOUBLED UP TO MITIGATE THE CHANCE OF IT BREAKING, AND USE STRONG STATIC CORD IN A WEB CONFIGURATION SO NO FAILURE LEADS TO ALL OF IT COMING DOWN ON YOU. THIS WEB IS ALSO THE PLACE TO CLIP SPOONS, CUPS, LIGHTS, GLOVES etc, AND TAKE PRESSURE OFF WALL POCKETS THAT CAN ENCROACH DANGEROUSLY NEAR TO THE FLAME.

CARRY A BURN PROOF MAT, EITHER SILICONE OR KEVLAR, FOR IF A HOT POT NEEDS TO BE SET DOWN, A CANISTER INSULATED FROM THE GROUND, OR PLACED UNDER THE STOVE SO IT DOESN’T MELT THE TENTS FLOOR. ALSO CARRY SEVERAL LIGHTERS EACH, BUT STILL BACK THE WHOLE LOT UP WITH A FLINT STRIKER THAT’S KEPT WITH THE STOVE, AND CARRY THE LOT – STOVE, POT, HANGING KIT, SNOW BAG, LIGHTERS, FIRE MATS etc – IN A BAG THAT IS YOUR ON-ROUTE KITCHEN, THE BAG HAVING A STRONG CLIP LOOP TO KEEP IT’S VITAL FUNCTION SAFE.

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THIS WHOLE AFFAIR NEEDS PRACTICE AND EVERY PART OF IT TESTED, BECAUSE FOR EVERY TIME THINGS GO SMOOTHLY THERE WILL BE A TIME WHEN IT’S UNDER DURESS. CALM NIGHTS AND EVEN TEMPERS MAKE COOKING A PLEASURE, PERHAPS THE ONLY ONE, BUT SMASHING WINDS, SIDEWAYS TENTS, KCAL DEFICIT AND FRAYED NERVES TURN THE SHOW INTO A TEST OF CHARACTER WHEN 3 LITERS OF ICE NEEDS TO BE MELTED.

FOOD AND LIQUID ARE WHAT KEEPS YOU ALIVE UP THERE, SO THE MEANS OF PROCURING THEM SHOULD NOT BE COMPROMISED. IF YOU CAN’T WORK THIS OUT THEN STICK TO EASY STUFF TILL YOU CAN. TRY AND KEEP THE RISKS TO THE CLIMBING AND PRACTICE YOUR HOUSEKEEPING TO MAINTAIN THAT.