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WE ARE SICK OF COMMERCIAL ENERGY BARS. WE GOT SICK OF THEM ABOUT FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, AND BY SICK WE DON’T JUST MEAN BORED OF THEM, BUT SICK IN THE TRUE SENSE OF FEELING NAUSEA AND BEING UNABLE TO HOLD THEM DOWN. KNOWING THE FOOD YOU CARRY SUCKS IS A CRITICAL PROBLEM, AND WITH FOOD BEING SO PERSONAL THE RESPONSIBILITY RESTS WITH THE INDIVIDUAL.

HUNDREDS OF DAYS A YEAR ON EXPEDITION GIVES US TIME TO TRY A LOT OF WHATS ON OFFER, INCLUDING STUFF FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD BROUGHT – AND OFTEN DISCARDED – BY OUR TEAMSTERS. SOME ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS, BUT MOST ARE SIMPLY JUNK FOOD BRANDED AS ‘NUTRITION’, RELYING ON AN IMAGE ON THE PACKAGE TO HAVE ANY RELATION TO ENDURANCE SPORTS AND NOT BE MISTAKEN FOR KIDS SNACKS.

WE ARE ADVOCATES OF REAL FOOD, AND HAVE THE SUSPICION THAT MOST BARS ARE SIMPLY THE BY-PRODUCTS OF PRIMARY AGRICULTURE, PACKAGED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION BECAUSE IT’S MORE ECONOMIC THAN DUMPING IT. CYNICAL, FOR SURE, BUT NOT WITHOUT REASON, AS ANY GLANCE DOWN THE SPORTS SUPPLEMENT AISLE WILL SHOW THERE’S FAR MORE BEING SOLD THAN ATHLETES WALKING AROUND.

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LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE WE DO, WHEN THE COMMERCIAL VERSION WON’T DO WHAT WE WANT WE INVENT OUR OWN, AND IF WE CAN CO-DEVELOP TENTS, PACKS, BOATS, NORMABARIC CHAMBERS, CLIMBING HARDWARE, STOVES AND DOWN SUITS WE CAN DEVELOP AN ENERGY BAR. LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE, THESE ARE NOT FOR COMMERCIAL RELEASE, BUT WE DO MAKE STICKERS SO YOU CAN PRETEND, AND IN CASE SOMEONE PICKS ONE UP THEY KNOW WHAT’S IN IT. THE RECIPE HERE IS OPEN SOURCE, DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH IT, WITH THE UNDERSTANDING AS ALWAYS THAT OUTSIDE THE PARAMETERS OF A MONTH LONG TRIP TO HIGH ALTITUDE SOMEWHERE VERY COLD AND OBSCURE WE HAVE NO COMMENT ON THE RESULTS.

FOR ANYTHING WITHIN THESE PARAMETERS THOUGH, WE MAKE SEVERAL CLAIMS, THE FIRST BEING THESE ARE BARS FOR ADULTS, NOT SPORTS CANDY. THEIR ATTRIBUTES WE LIST HERE AS FOLLOWS;

1. ADULT FLAVOURS. WE HAVE TRAVELLED THE WORLD AND OF ALL THE CUISINES FIND THE DISNEYLAND VERSION MOST BARS PERTAIN TOO TO BE NO LESS THAN REVOLTING. WE DON’T EAT ARTIFICIAL LEMON OR PUMPKIN COLA ANYWHERE ELSE WHEN THERE’S REAL FOOD TO BE HAD, SO WE EVOKE THE FLAVOURS OF THE PLACES WE LOVE SO THESE TRIGGER THE FEELING OF EATING PROPERLY. ALL SPICE, GINGER, PISTACHIO, COCONUT AND SESAME NEEDS NO ARTIFICIAL VERSIONS, AND WORKS ANY TIME OF THE DAY, EATEN STRAIGHT OR SMASHED UP IN WATER. WE THINK THEY SHOULD TASTE SLIGHTLY SALTY, WARM AND EXOTIC, NOT VERY SWEET, AND LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD EAT WITH COFFEE RATHER THAN AS A SNACK OR DESSERT.

2. ENERGY DENSE. TAHINI IS ABOUT THE HIGHEST KCAL THING POSSIBLE, AND GLUES THE OATS TOGETHER WELL. COCONUT CAN BE SPARING BUT CONTRIBUTES MCT FATS, BRINGING THE TOTAL TO ABOUT 350KCALS FOR A NORMAL SIZED BAR. 350 IS INTENTIONAL, ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN METABOLIZE IN AN HOUR OF CONSTANT WORK, AND WASHES DOWN EASILY WITH ABOUT 350mls OF WATER.

3. REALISTIC PROFILE OF CARBOHYDRATE, SUGAR, FAT AND PROTEIN. THESE ARE NUTRITION BARS, NOT JUST ENERGY BARS, SO ARE TO KEEP YOU GOING DAY AFTER DAY NOT JUST FOR A FEW HOURS, WHICH MEANS THEY HAVE A PROFILE OF REAL MACRONUTRIENTS TO ADDRESS THE SPECTRUM OF HUNGER NOT JUST IMMEDIATE ENERGY NEEDS. THEY HAVE A SPECTRUM OF ENERGY SOURCES COVERING VARIOUS FATS AND CARBOHYDRATES, ENOUGH HEALTHY SUGARS FOR THE BRAIN AND ENOUGH PROTEIN TO KEEP THE PROCESS OF MUSCLE LOSS AT BAY.

4. NUTRIENT DENSE. ANY OF THESE INGREDIENTS, ALONE, IS RICH IN NUTRIENTS, COVERING MOST VITAMINS AND MINERALS AS REAL FOODS, NOT SUPPLEMENTS. NONE OF THESE THINGS NEED PROCESSING BEYOND BEING BLASTED IN A PROCESSOR, NOT EVEN NEEDING HEAT THAT CAN DESTROY SOME NUTRIENTS. MADE TO A MEDIUM-ROUGH CONSISTENCY THESE CAN BE EATEN AS REAL FOOD, SATIATING THE BRAIN AND RELEASING NUTRIENTS ACROSS A SPECTRUM OF TIME NOT JUST DUMPED INTO THE GUT.

5. WATER SOLUBLE. OATS HOLD A LOT OF WATER AND DATES DISSOLVE RAPIDLY, MAKING THESE VERY DIFFERENT TO A GEL OR BAR RELIANT ON A DEXTROSE BASE. THESE GO DOWN EASILY ON A MOUTHFUL OF PRECIOUS WATER, MASH INTO A CONSISTENT MEAL IN A CUP, AND CAN BE SQUISHED INTO A SEMI-LIQUID OF SOLID FOOD WON’T GO DOWN. THEY CARRY FLUID RIGHT THROUGH THE GUT WITH SOLUBLE FIBER – SOMETHING IMPORTANT ON LONG. COLD TRIPS, AND SOFT ENOUGH TO STILL EAT STRAIGHT IF WATER ISN’T AVAILABLE.

6. EASY TO MAKE. WE’VE MADE THESE IN A ZIPLOK IN TENTS BUT A FOOD PROCESSOR IS MUCH BETTER, AND IS REALLY AS SIMPLE AS FEEDING TOGETHER TO GET THE CONSISTENCY YOU WANT. DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF INGREDIENTS RESULT IN DIFFERENT CONSISTENCIES – DATES FROM BAM IN IRAN AND TAHINI FROM GREECE WE FIND BEST – AND THERE IS NO NEED TO ADD WATER WHICH AFFECTS THE LONGEVITY.

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WHEN MAKING, GET THE OATS, COCONUT AND DATE BLEND RIGHT, IT SHOULD BE DRY ENOUGH TO CRUMBLE APART, THEN ADD THE TAHINI TO BIND IT ALL INTO SOMETHING LIKE MOST OTHER BARS. THE GINGER, PISTACHIO, ALL SPICE AND SALT BLEND IN LAST, IN A FAIRLY ROUGH WAY, TO AVOID TOO EVEN A CONSISTENCY WHERE EVERY BAR IS EXACTLY THE SAME. YOU WANT SOME VARIATION AND COULD THROW IN SOME EXTRA FLAVOURS, WHEN WE DO WE KEEP THINGS ADULT SUCH AS CARDAMOM, BERGAMOT OR COFFEE.

THE BEST STORAGE IS MOLDED INTO 350KCAL BLOCKS AND VACUUM SEALED, IN WHICH CASE THEY WILL LAST WEEKS, ASSUMING THE COLD, DRY MOUNTAIN ENVIRONMENT. WE MAKE THEM AT HOME AND FLY THEM IN AND NEVER HAVE PROBLEMS, BUT SOME PLACES MIGHT HAVE CUSTOMS ISSUES AND TO BE HONEST, THEY DO LOOK LIKE DRUGS.

WE CALL THESE ANARCHY BARS NOT JUST BECAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL, BUT BECAUSE NON-INDUSTRIAL EXPEDITIONS NEED NON-INDUSTRIAL FOOD. PLENTY OF HOME-MADE RECIPES ABOUND BUT MOST SIMPLY COPY THE COMMERCIAL ONES, OR AT LEAST COPY THE PROBLEM OF BEING TOO SWEET, TOO BORING AND LACKING SUSTAINABLE NUTRIENTS. 

PROPERLY DONE, BARS SHOULD BE PROPER FOOD NOT JUST SUPPLEMENTS BETWEEN MEALS THAT ARE ALREADY NUTRITIONALLY THIN, AND THE BEST BARS SUCH AS THESE ARE A PRIMARY ENERGY SOURCE. TEN OF THESE A DAY CAN MAKE A SOLE FOOD SOURCE, VACUUM PACKED INTO LINKS, BUT STILL EAT LIKE REAL FOOD RATHER THAN SOMETHING YOU’D FIND IN A LIFE RAFT OR WORSE, IN A GAS STATION.

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