10 THINGS NOT TO DO ON EXPEDITION

WE WERE ASKED TO DO A CHEESY ’10 TIPS FOR YOUR EXPEDITION’ PIECE BY A WELL KNOWN MAGAZINE. AFTER LOOKING AROUND AT THE DOZENS OF OTHER, ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME, VERSIONS OF THAT SAME LIST WE FIGURED THE SUBJECT WAS COVERED TO DEATH SO DECIDED TO DO A LIST OF THE 10 DON’TS OF EXPEDITION CLIMBING INSTEAD

WELL THE JOKE WAS ON US AND THE EDITOR DIDN’T LIKE IT, SO HEY HO NOW YOU CAN READ IT HERE FREE OF CHARGE

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER…

TIBET CLIMBING ALPINE EXPEDITION HIGH ALTITUDE

DON’T TALK YOURSELF OUT OF IT

LOOK AT EXPEDITION CLIMBING PRAGMATICALLY. USUALLY 90% OF AN EXPEDITION IS THINGS YOU CAN DO, MUCH OF IT QUITE EASILY, SO RATHER THAN TALK YOURSELF OUT OF THE SMALL BIT OF HARD CLIMBING, TALK YOURSELF INTO THE REST THAT IS FATHOMABLE, TRAINABLE & FUN.

DON’T GO TOO LIGHT

GEAR STILL NEEDS TO BE FIT FOR PURPOSE AND WE’VE SEEN SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR PLANS AFTER SUPER-LIGHT GEAR FAILED TO DO WHAT SOMETHING 100g HEAVIER WOULD HAVE DONE EASILY

DON’T UNDER-ESTIMATE THE WORK LOAD

FROM YOUR LIVING ROOM IT’S EASY TO THINK YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CARRY 30KG LOADS BETWEEN CAMPS, BUT THAT’S AN ANOMALY, NOT THE STANDARD YOU CAN PLAN AROUND. FACTOR FOR ABOUT 2/3 WHAT YOU THINK YOU CAN AND TAKE ANYTHING HIGHER AS A BONUS. DOING IT ONE DAY DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN DO IT THE NEXT, SO ACCEPT THAT

DON’T IGNORE ALL THE STUFF ALONG THE WAY

SO MANY PEOPLE SEE AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE OF THE PLACES THEY MOVE THROUGH. DON’T BE THE CLIMBER WHO NEVER LEARNS A SINGLE WORD IN THE LOCAL LANGUAGE, NEVER VISITS THE LOCAL MARKETS, NEVER INTERACTS WITH LOCAL PEOPLE, NEVER EVEN FLIPS ON THE LOCAL TV STATION. OR IF YOU DO – DON’T GO HOME AND THINK YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE PLACE YOU JUST VISITED

DON’T SKIP MEALS

EAT AS NORMALLY AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE ABOVE A CERTAIN ALTITUDE YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO REPLACE WHAT YOU MISS AND IT’S DOWNHILL FROM THERE. EVEN IF IT’S JUST A BAR OR A MOUTFUL OF GRANOLA, GET CARBOHYDRATES INTO YOUR SYSTEM AT REGULAR INTERVALS. YOUR BODY IS ALREADY CONFUSED ENOUGH, DON’T ADD RANDOM KCAL INPUT TO IT

DON’T OVER-REACH YOUR ACCLIMATION

EVERYONE THINKS THE RULES DON’T APPLY TO THEM AND THAT GETTING IN A DAY FASTER WILL BE BETTER. AND PLENTY OF PEOPLE HAVE HAD WRETCHARD NIGHTS IN THEIR TENTS IN THE SELF-INDUCED HELL OF BEING UNACCLIMATED. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER YOUR BODY HAS TO ATUNE TO THE ALTITUDE. ALTITUDE GETS ALL PEOPLE AT SOME POINT AND THE WAY TO NORMALIZE IT IS SIMPLY TO GO EASY. THE METABILOCS HAPPEN WHEN YOU SLEEP, NOT WHEN YOU’RE PUNCHING UP THE GLACIER, SO CHILL OUT, GO EASY & AIM TO SLEEP HIGHER EACH NIGHT

DON’T FORGET TO ENJOY IT

THINGS ALWAYS SEEM AGAINST THE CLOCK, OR AGAINST THE WEATHER, OR AGAINST THE LOAD AND IT’S EASY TO SEE BREAKS IN THE HARD STUFF AS MORE THAN A SIGN OF WEAKNESS. ENJOY THE SUNRISES OVER CENTRAL ASIA, THE SOUND OF THE CAMELS BEFORE DAWN, THE FACT YOU ARE IN PLACES 99.9% OF THE WORLD WILL NEVER SEE. DON’T ACT LIKE THIS HAS BEEN FORCED ON YOU

DON’T GET STUCK IN A CLIMBING RUT

DON’T LET YOUR PERSONAL CLIMBING LIMITATIONS LIMIT THE CLIMBING. WE’VE SEEN CLIMBERS READY TO THROW IN THE TOWEL AT A SECTION OF BLANK WALL JUST BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T GET THEIR MINDS AROUND AIDING A FEW METERS ON PITONS. THIS ISN’T SCOTLAND, NO ONE CARES. WHEN ENTIRE SERACS THE SIZE OF SUPERMARKETS RIP DOWN MOUNTAINS EACH AFTERNOON, YOU PULLING ON A BIT OF GEAR IS IRRELEVANT

DON’T SCRAMBLE FOR HOME

ONCE THE TURN AROUND COMES DON’T FLEE FOR THE EXITS LIKE IT’S A BOMB DRILL. FOR A START, IT WON’T MAKE MUCH DIFFERENCE BECAUSE THE WORLD TURNS AT IT’S OWN RATE, NOT AT YOURS. BUT ALSO BECAUSE THE POST-CLIMBING PHASE IS WHERE YOU GET THE CHANCE TO RELAX. SLEEP A BIT MORE, SIT AND WATCH THE THINGS YOU COULDN’T ON THE WAY IN, STOP THINKING ONLY ABOUT CLIMBING

DON’T TURN AROUND TILL YOU HAVE TO

DON’T DECIDE IT’S IMPOSSIBLE FROM 500m AWAY. GET YOURSELVES WITHIN STRIKING DISTANCE OF A PROBLEM BEFORE DECIDING IF IT’S SURMOUNTABLE OR NOT, AND GIVE IT A SHORT IN PROPORTION WITH WHAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH. WHEN IT STOPS MOVING FORWARD RETHINK, BUT NOT BEFORE. MANY SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE PROBLEMS WERE FOUND UPON CLOSER INSPECTION TO BE DOABLE

DON’T TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY

IT’S CLIMBING, NOT CURING BONE CANCER, AND IT’S NOT WORTH DYING FOR. DON’T SPOIL AN OTHERWISE VISIONARY TRIP BY TURNING IT INTO SOME SORT OF SAS SELECTION-LIKE PROCESS THAT THE WORLD DEPENDS ON. ROUTES WILL WORK OR THEY WON’T, WEATHER WILL CO-OPERATE OR IT WON’T, THERE WILL BE GOOD DAYS AND BAD. LEARN TO LOOK AT YOURSELVES FROM THE OUTSIDE AND REALIZE IT’S JUST PEOPLE CLIMBING MOUNTAINS

10 THINGS NOT TO DO ON AN EXPEDITION